What's Your Problem?
"The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year." --John Foster Dulles
This quote had the most profound effect on me from the moment I read it. It challenged me to examine my life and really get to the bottom line about a particularly long-standing situation that was keeping me from living my best life. Once I acknowledged the problem, I resolved that it would not be plaguing me in a year's time. After I set that deadline, I was able to look at the situation differently. I could see the ways in which I allowed the problem to remain unchallenged and unchanged. And, most importantly, I could no longer simply complain. If I wanted to resolve the problem, I would have to act.
The first step to resolving a problem is defining it. We are blessed with brilliant films, books, plays, and art to help illustrate how others have tackled their problems. In the film "American Beauty," the characters Lester and Carolyn Burnham have existed for many years in a life that is essentially a facade. The couple in the film appears to have an ideal life; and though the reality is that their lives are emotionally empty, they continue to keep up appearances for friends, colleagues and neighbors. Lester has adopted a passive stance in his marriage, allowing his wife to define the details of their life together. This becomes increasingly painful for him, and finally Lester says to Carolyn, "I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist." It can be incredibly difficult to step out of your comfort zone and challenge the status quo in this way, but it is the first step towards change. One scene shows Lester sitting on the couch drinking a beer. This is a calculated decision on Lester's part, as he knows how much it will upset Carolyn. As expected, Carolyn walks in and says, "This is a $4,000 sofa, upholstered in Italian silk. It is not just a couch." Lester shouts, "It's just a couch!" In this situation, Lester deliberately acts in a way that requires Carolyn to acknowledge his existence, which directly confronts his problem.
Many of us are procrastinators. We have great intentions for tomorrow, but all too often tomorrow never comes. In Lester's life, events transpire in such a way that the time he has to experience his newfound insight is tragically short. At what point in life do you decide the status of your soul is more important than keeping the status quo?
Don't wait until next year to solve your problems. Try this action plan. Define your problem and vow that next year at this time, you won't have this same problem. Work backwards from where you want to be in order to determine the steps necessary for change. Then, start working your plan. If you feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the task, remember to focus on one step at a time. Schedule your step, whether it is an honest conversation, a letter to be written, a phone call to be made, or a simple "I love you" said to someone who needs to hear it. Life is now, and there is no better time than today to uncover your problem so that next year, things will be different.
This quote had the most profound effect on me from the moment I read it. It challenged me to examine my life and really get to the bottom line about a particularly long-standing situation that was keeping me from living my best life. Once I acknowledged the problem, I resolved that it would not be plaguing me in a year's time. After I set that deadline, I was able to look at the situation differently. I could see the ways in which I allowed the problem to remain unchallenged and unchanged. And, most importantly, I could no longer simply complain. If I wanted to resolve the problem, I would have to act.
The first step to resolving a problem is defining it. We are blessed with brilliant films, books, plays, and art to help illustrate how others have tackled their problems. In the film "American Beauty," the characters Lester and Carolyn Burnham have existed for many years in a life that is essentially a facade. The couple in the film appears to have an ideal life; and though the reality is that their lives are emotionally empty, they continue to keep up appearances for friends, colleagues and neighbors. Lester has adopted a passive stance in his marriage, allowing his wife to define the details of their life together. This becomes increasingly painful for him, and finally Lester says to Carolyn, "I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist." It can be incredibly difficult to step out of your comfort zone and challenge the status quo in this way, but it is the first step towards change. One scene shows Lester sitting on the couch drinking a beer. This is a calculated decision on Lester's part, as he knows how much it will upset Carolyn. As expected, Carolyn walks in and says, "This is a $4,000 sofa, upholstered in Italian silk. It is not just a couch." Lester shouts, "It's just a couch!" In this situation, Lester deliberately acts in a way that requires Carolyn to acknowledge his existence, which directly confronts his problem.
Many of us are procrastinators. We have great intentions for tomorrow, but all too often tomorrow never comes. In Lester's life, events transpire in such a way that the time he has to experience his newfound insight is tragically short. At what point in life do you decide the status of your soul is more important than keeping the status quo?
Don't wait until next year to solve your problems. Try this action plan. Define your problem and vow that next year at this time, you won't have this same problem. Work backwards from where you want to be in order to determine the steps necessary for change. Then, start working your plan. If you feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the task, remember to focus on one step at a time. Schedule your step, whether it is an honest conversation, a letter to be written, a phone call to be made, or a simple "I love you" said to someone who needs to hear it. Life is now, and there is no better time than today to uncover your problem so that next year, things will be different.
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